She saw from the balcony the retreating figure carrying the bundle of joy that she considered to be a precious gift and had waited so eagerly for it to come home despite the demeaning remarks she heard about the latter being ugly and dark. Then she saw her school books strewn in the room, especially the new Islamiat book purchased by her dad just a day before and she knew now she will be left without support from that one person in whose bosom she found comfort. She then looked at the fearful faces of her siblings and started crying uncontrollably as a last resort to get someone understand her pain and assure her that the worst has not come yet.
She could listen to the background voices uttering words like "she wont return", then those creepy joyful laughters, the glee in their tones while keeping a check and congratulating who stops crying first...she did not yet fully understood the consequences of not having that support but still was prepared to accept the reality so soon.
Then she was taken to that mansion that was the hub of all planning and the haven for the destitute. Maybe she was to be protected by the proceedings associated with that retreating figure. Her heart had given up hope for the most awaited return, which was further confirmed by one of her siblings. She wondered how will she cope with her school, studies, eating and living now.
What she did not know then was that that special person in her life had only gone temporarily to set straight the matter which had plagued their life for more than a decade now. There was a search for some permanent solution...an attempt to put an end to a misery that created hair-raising fear in everyone around.
How is a 7 year old child supposed to cope with the intense dreadful feeling of a broken heart? Will this experience make her stronger or even more vulnerable when facing the outside world? Is a result akin to a sound personality in sight for that child in the years to come? How much consideration could be garnered for the shattered pieces of her soul?
I wish I knew the answers then....self-healing was the only solution.....
...Witnessing such horrific acts of violence at such an early age has no doubt intense negative impacts on a child's personality.... Although i only get a faint picture of what you might have endured at the moment...i just might have a few words to lessen the pain... You see childhood.... is an era where you have no control over your world....where you are so engaged in exploring the unknown that everything around you tends to act as in input to your mind and heart...... however....as we get mature....we witness a broader picture of the world...how things should have been....what went wrong....who's fault was it....what can i do to avoid all this in future..........Its only through these lessons learnt that we get the power to rub off the wounds etched in our hearts....and move forward....with greater faith, courage and determination!
ReplyDeleteWow thank you Raza...you summed up my after-thoughts so well. Every experience is worth an important lesson which we can understand only when we accept what happened and think positive still! :)
ReplyDelete